Handouts

Want to support Bloodthirsty Melon? Or maybe buy me a pint?

Well hey, you've come to the right place. You can just press that little button over there and-- What? No? You don't want to part with your hard-earned money just because some stranger puts his ridiculous videos on the internet? Well fine. Here are some other ways you can support the site while simultaneously improving your karma.

Share the videos. - Hey, if you like them, why not spread the joy? If you don't like them, then why not spread your seething hatred? I've seen you sneeze into your hands then wipe them purposefully on cutlery and doorknobs. This will be like doing that, only in an electronic way, to all your email contacts and facebook buddies. They probably deserve it.

Buy The Optometrist Song on iTunes - It only costs a dollar, and you'll be getting something out of it: An mp3 to blast on your car stereo while you drive around town with the windows down. You'll be the envy of pedestrians everywhere.

Stand on the corner, dressed as Santa, with a donation box at your side, and as people approach with change in their hands, throw salt on them until they run away. And take video. And send it to me.